Was it possible to walk away, to abandon him and at the same time, to protect him?

When she had turned the record over and both sides had finished playing, she took the rope from her coat pocket, removed her shoes, climbed up onto Sparrow’s desk, careful not to disrupt his papers.

One can assume that, overcome with every emotion when he first saw her body, Sparrow could not have noticed that she had exercised such care; we can imagine these same papers knocked asunder, thrown down and perhaps trampled on by the same man she has loved so quietly and delicately, so distantly and considerately, yes we can taste the bitter irony if we allow ourselves to imagine a scene that has been omitted from the story.

This detail bites: it seems to say everything she has not said to him, that he will never know and never notice; no, not even if he tries, because it has not entered his field of vision. This thought that perhaps never even made itself heard in her mind, that she should leave these papers untouched, are as real and secret as the questions she wished to ask but never did, that she will carry with her into the deepest night, away forever from his ears, ears that hear music from within and without but not her music, the real notes of her thoughts.


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